It was a weekend unlike other weekends, even other weekends of TribeWriter Conferences past.
There was this recurring theme that actually started a couple of weeks before I even left for Tribe conference 2018. I wrote several blog posts and noted some concepts in my journal that seemed to keep coming up. One post in particular was pretty honest to where I was at the moment.
(You can find it here. https://www.kathyburrus.com/blog/2018/10/7/will-i-ever-be-her)
I caught myself wondering if I was ever going to grow up to be 'HER'- that woman who moved through life confident that she was who she was supposed to be. My reason for sharing it here will make more sense at the end of this post.
My preparations for TRIBE CONFERENCE were different than they had been in the past. I felt more ready, more eager to grab hold of what would be there for me.
This theme showed up from the beginning mastermind session with Jeff Goins:
He said: I am not just a writer or a speaker. I AM A COMMUNICATOR! My skills, talents and abilities are all products in my store. Jeff Goins
That made sense to me. I struggled to choose between the two- now I didn’t have to.
Then came my HOT SEAT- a session where I presented a problem to the group and they helped me work through it. I felt like I 'dropped the ball' on my marketing Lovely Traces of Hope after I published and launched the book in 2016. The grief that followed was more intense than I imagined. So my question now was: should I go back and relaunch Lovely Traces - to honor the legacy of my daughter, Leisha, who started the book before she died.
OR should I write the next book which is about stuck and broken places and how we/ women can break free of those places and break through to the other side of who we are.
With the help of my HOT SEAT team, I became aware that my next book will honor the first book, Lovely Traces, and my daughter, even as it clarifies the message I have for my woman. So… I decided then and there that I will have a new book before Tribe Conference 2019.
That ONE moment opened my heart to receive so much more.
Dinner- and laughter with Ken Davis
Oh - another HIGHLIGHT for me was dinner conversation (and laughter) with Ken Davis.
Our family has so enjoyed listening to his great stories via tapes or live presentations. I sent this picture to my girls and they each shared some of their favorites which I passed on to Ken. Also, he was a friend of our friend, Paul M. So we shared a meaningful connection.
Then the Conference began.
Opening session, the music blared, lights flashed and the words TRIBE lit up the stage.
Jeff Goins came out dressed as THE GREATEST SHOWMAN. His young son apprentice joined him and boldly proclaimed "This is the greatest TRIBE on earth."
Unless a man enters upon the vocation intended for him by nature, and best suited to his peculiar genius, he cannot succeed.” ― P. T. BARNUM
Jeff Goins, The Greatest Showman- Tribe Style
Jeff started us off with questions, What is my work? Who is it for?
How am I going to think about my work?
In the theme of THE GREATEST SHOWMAN, can I say "This is the GREATEST!"?
To be a Master- always acts like an apprentice! Jeff Goins
I wish I could share all of my notes here- but this is already going to be long. So here are some highlights: (if you are really a curious about my full notes- just send me a note and I'll forward them to you)
WHAT is my work?
You are not just writing a book, you are creating your Body of Work.
Does my body of work represent who I am?
What is the thing you are willing to suffer for because you care about it so much?
What angers you?
What makes you cry?
What gives you hope? Todd Henry
If you give away your best stuff for free, people will pay you to tell them again. Chandler Bolt
It is easy to get your word out. It is difficult to get people to care. Charles Lee
Make remarkable work worth remarking on. Janet Murray
WHO is your work for?
Is it for everyone (which is safe) or is it for someone (which is powerful)? -Jeff Goins
I can make something for one person- that can affect many. Who is my ONE person? - Amy Landino
WHAT do you do for them?
Marsha Shandur of Yes, Yes, Marsha nailed it with these thoughts.
What is the problem you solve as THEY see it.
We see things want to share but what is it THEY see?
What are they ready to hear?
What are they saying when they are freaking out at night?
What's the problem?
Why is that a problem?
Why is that a problem?
Why.. (etc)
Get to the heart of their problem.
Speak to the heart of their problem.
I am for you.
I get you.
I'm not going to shame you for where you are.
There is hope.
You are not alone.
That is what they crave most.
What do you fear?
What is something you would love to do, that you're not doing because you are afraid you're going to do it wrong, or it won't be good enough? Don't be afraid to fail. -Melissa Dinwiddie
Don't fear failure. Definitely a recurring theme for most of us.
Fear is often comes shrouded as wisdom. (ouch!)
Fear often smells of opportunity. - Todd Henry
Tim Grahl: Author of Running Down a Dream, Booklaunch.com. and the Story Grid podcast also spoke to the fear.
I was going to overcome my fears by being the best.
But that increased the level of fear- raised the level of expectation.
Tell the truth- that thing that our soul is silently screaming that wants out. We want to be the guru who has all the answers, but sometimes we must 'tour our ruins" and share that.
Quit resisting what really needs to be said.
Why is that so hard?
What are your fears?
Which of those fears are tangible?
We share what our soul is screaming so that others (my woman) can share her story too.
Alli Worthington : author of Fierce Faith and The Year of Living Happy, spoke to the core of my journey as well.
How do we take new action and not feel like a fraud? How can we move forward with confidence when we have never done this before? The more success we get, the more often we feel like an impostor. New Levels bring out new devils.
God calls us to a particular field. We take one look at that field and decide we don't like it.
It has big boulders and rocky patches. There are briars, weeds and thistles.
It will be too hard.
So we look for another field, a nicer field, easier field. But nothing comes out of that.
So we move to another.
Then another.
Until we turn to find we are back at our original field. It is messy. It will be hard. We may not like it. But this time we know it is our field. (This has been my journey for the past 2 years- listen in as I talk about it here.)
You are called to your FIELD for a reason. Clean it up, prep the soil, get it ready to plant.
Then sow the seed. The harvest may take a while. That's ok!
SHOW UP (say yes)
BE REAL (strengths and weaknesses- Bring it all)
LOVE WELL (be kind to others AND to yourself)
DON'T QUIT
We believe the lie that if we are doing what we are supposed to be doing, it will be easy. It's not.
Embrace the discomfort.
Ken Davis spoke: Author of Fully Alive. I took lots of notes, but some things that stood out to me were:
WHY do you do what you do? It's a gift- don't deny what God gave you.
THEY don't care about what you WANT to say. They care about how it intersects with their life. Know your person! Move them to action
It's not about you- it's about them. You are there to give the gift God gave you!
Too soon, Jeff Goins peeled off his sports coat and got personal with us. He closed Tribe Conference 2018 with more old girl friend stories- like he shares every year. All sad endings except his last girlfriend/wife who shared the weekend with us of course. But it is amazing how many old girlfriends there are. I know this is Jeff’s story, but to understand the challenge he gave us at the end, you need a bit of the story. (Jeff if I need to take it out, I will. )
Once in high school, Jeff noticed a girl he liked seemed to be flirting with him. Finally Jeff got up enough nerve to ask her out. He couldn't even look her in the eye when he asked. She hesitated, he reluctantly looked up, anticipating rejection - again!
She was smiling at him. And she said "I'd like that". As Jeff hurriedly walked away, she called after him.
"Jeff, it's about time!"
It's about time…
To change how you think about yourself.
Is it possible that you are more valuable than you are telling yourself?
You are where you are because of what you believe about yourself.
It is time you understand what you are already capable of.
I caught my breath, tears flooded my eyes as I heard his words. Suddenly the thought that flashed through my mind was, I AM HER; I am that girl I wrote about in the blog post before I left for TRIBE. The theme of the this conference affirmed that over and over - a message I could write even before the conference, but was struggling to believe.
IT's ABOUT TIME I ________________________________
Believe in myself
Own my own field
Share my strengths and my weaknesses
Get help to write the next book
Trust the value I add
Recognize that I am already good enough for this next step
As I write, I am still tying the messages of all of these speakers to the many powerful conversations over coffee or lunch- around our tables or standing in the hall. I'm so grateful for precious times with Tribe Girlfriends I have come to know over the past 4 years. I value deeply the new relationships and support from others during and since the conference that play a significant role in my transformation as a woman and as a communicator. AND I have committed to write & publish my next book before TRIBE 2019. I’ll tell you all about that later.
Meet some of my TRIBE GIRLFRIENDS! The group is growing!
But I was reminded of lyrics of a song I love from the GREATEST SHOWMAN called
THIS IS ME:
…I am brave, I am bruised
I am who I'm meant to be, this is me
Look out 'cause here I come
And I'm marching on to the beat I drum
I'm not scared to be seen
I make no apologies, this is me!
I am HER!
It’s about time!
How about you? It's about time you ___________________________!
How will you answer that question?
Not sure? Email me!
I would love to help you step into who you already are!
Thanks for reading all the way. YOU are the reason I do what I do.
Kathy
P.S. 2019 will be the fifth and last year for TRIBE CONFERENCE Sept 6-8, 2019. Want more info? Email me! kathy@kathyburrus.com
P.S.S. I’m going! Come with me!
My annual pic with Jeff 2018. There was so much I wanted to say to this guy who has been authentic with us from the beginning. His honesty has kept me going many times when I wanted to quit. Thank you Jeff Goins - for being You and owning what you do best.