I have watched her from a distance for a while now, this young woman that now sits across from me over a cup of coffee. We have spoken briefly, usually including a hug on a Sunday morning between services. I have shared with her that I am praying for her specifically, but we really don’t know each other at all. Except that I feel like I do know her - or at least some aspects of the life she lives.
She is the oldest daughter of our Pastor.
She has one sister and three brothers.
She has a dark blond hair that she often wears in a pony tail or down long with a part on the side.
She has a great smile.
She looks at life with an optimism that’s contagious.
Why are those things so significant to me? Because when I first met her, I was struck by the fact that all of those sentences I listed above to describe her would have described me too when I was her age. The very first time I saw her, I flashed back to a time when I was 14 and ‘that girl’.
Samantha and I tried for a while to get together but something always came up. Now she is in her first year of college and I marvel at the freshness and excitement I see in her eyes and hear in her voice. Oh to be young again.
As we talk of school and life, God and boys, I relive moments that I felt that same way or started learning similar lessons. I thank God I am no longer 20 something, but wish I had learned some of my lessons at a much younger age.
Shortly before we left the coffee shop she said, “So what would you wish you had known when you were my age?” I ponder that question. Some things immediately come to mind, mostly because they are things I have written about in my latest book, EnVision YOU.
I want my 20 year old self/ friend to know…
You are incredible. You were made to be unique, with your skills and abilities, strengths and weaknesses, dreams and goals. They are yours for a reason and no one else will touch the world just like you do.
because of that, you don’t need to compare yourself to anyone else. Sure we can learn and grow by watching people that model or live out qualities we want in our own lives. But we are not them. We will never be fulfilled even if we come close to being like them- until we own the little spin God gave us that makes us different.
Different is not bad. It’s unique. It’s our own bit of weirdness that makes us special. It’s the way we touch our world. If we don’t do it, something is missing.
But there are soooo many other things I wish I had known back then. Like…
You are never going to feel like you have it ALL together.
Bad things will happen- but God is big enough
God is not safe - but he is always good. (reference to Aslan in Chronicles of Narnia)
The hard things are as much a part of our journey as the good things. Embrace them all as you live in the tension between the two.
Pay attention to the the many ways that God is breaking into your world every day. Creator God touching the heart of his beloved creation as only He can.
Yet those are lessons to be learned as we grow older and experience the good and bad of our own life.
As we learn for ourselves to trust that God is bigger and different.
As we discover that we really are remarkable and come to love the person God designed us to be.
Others can tell us truth, but until we own it for ourselves, we will never come to live them out in reality.
So… Samantha my dear,
Live with all your heart! Embrace the good and don’t be afraid of the bad!
Watch closely, because in the middle of it all, the God who created you and loves you to the cross and beyond the grave, is deeply in love with you. He will never leave you - or forsake you!
Continue to surround yourself with people who love you and can support you as you take your own journey to knowing yourself and your God.
I am on your team- even when it’s from a distance.
Be you! From one preacher’s kid to another,
Kathy