This is A re-posting In Part from a blog series I wrote several years ago. I have been struck by the timeliness of it for today.
In the last post, I talked about the big moments we can recall in vivid detail. We remember who was with us, what happened, how it felt. Often, we share how that moment changed our life.
I shared one moment that is talked about a lot in scripture- I call it the RED SEA story - when the children of Israel were caught between death – and death. It was that moment when God showed up like he had never shown up before and they were saved. (You can read more about that in the last post)
I’m guessing that even as you read the words in the image above, you immediately think of one or more occasions in your own story that have changed you. I wish we could sit over a cup of coffee and share those moments together. (I would love for you to share one in the comments section or email kathy@kathyburrus.com)
For now, I promised I would share my RED SEA moment with you. A moment that was forced on me when my daughter Leisha died and I fought to keep living. God had to show up if I was going to survive!
My Red Sea was a terrifying journey through a dark and dreadful grief tunnel much like the path led through the RED SEA for the Israelites. I didn’t know how I was going to survive the grief tunnel any more than the children of Israel knew how they were going to get out of Egypt, or get through the Red Sea. It’s not a path I ever wanted to take, but it was the ‘less frightening’ choice.
I felt as if i was wallowing in mud up past the top of my head and I couldn’t move a finger let alone breathe. I tried desperately to fight my way out of this. I flailed my arms, my hands turned to fists when I was angry or fearful in grief. The harder I tried, the deeper I sank into the mud, into the darkness.
I’ve often thought how terrified the children of Israel must have been going through the RED SEA. Even though they were right in the middle of a miracle. But when we are so full of fear, it is often difficult to see and embrace what is really happening.
Is that where we are right now? in the middle of a miracle and yet we are too fearful to see it? Hmm?
Even though the Israelites were desperately trying to leave Egypt, noticed how stuck they were remembering what it was like to be in Egypt; pressed, pushed, driven, forced, raped of their own thoughts, feelings, emotions by the Egyptians. After all, you can’t just erase over 400 years they had been in Egypt and the bitterness that had grown with each passing generation.
They went with Moses, knowing God was leading them out of Egypt, but they were still fearful, still complaining, still doubting - even after all the miracles they were experiencing..
Where are we stuck? What were we experiencing before all this “virus” stuff changed how we did life?
But then consider how the Red Sea changed everything.
They had to learn to be themselves as free people.
They had to learn to trust again.
They had to learn to experience life again.
Their lives changed, their perspective on their lives and on God changed. And in the middle of the crisis/miracle, God continued to instruct them to live out their values with the principles he had taught them even in Egypt..
Hmm? What are we learning through this season?
In some ways, after Leisha’s death, I was the same old me! I still wore the same clothes, still lived in the same house in the middle of the same cornfield. I still had the same skills that I had before she died. I had the same stories from my past. I had the same husband and daughters (though now one was missing) and parents and sisters and brothers and friends.
But in every other way, I had to start all over.
I had to learn to breathe again, enduring the rank smell of grief.
I had to learn to walk again, even as I struggled to move forward in the muck of grief.
I had to learn to see again, even as the darkness of the tunnel seemed to envelop my entire being.
I wasn’t seeing with my physical eyes. No, I had to close my eyes so I could see with the eyes of my heart.
I had to learn to listen for a word, or a sound, or a song.
I had to learn to touch again; with passion for Rennie, with freedom for my girls, without overwhelming fear of losing again.
I had to learn to look for light and to feel its warmth.
When the way I used to do life failed me,
or the methods I had previously practiced to seek the Lord felt empty,
I sometimes assumed God wasn’t there.
I would form fists with my hands and accuse him that he had abandoned me and left me to find my way out of this darkness alone.
Yet just like God reminded the Israelites to remember their values from their past, gradually promises I had learned even as a small child began to surface in my thinking.
Deuteronomy 31:6 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”
Here we are at a moment that IS, even now, changing our life.
Will we in the moment now believe the promises of God? I choose to believe!
Would God lie to us when he said he would not leave us– never forsake us? No! He would not lie!
He might not be there like he used to be, but he is showing up. I just have to learn to NOTICE when God shows up differently than he has in my past.
Leisha’s death was an ending- and yet a beginning of a new life.
This Covid-19 has put an end to some things - but it too is a new beginning for us.
The newness doesn’t change the fact that there is a loss of some sort. We still stand between death- and life. But when we choose to embrace our grief, our brokenness, our loss we can move through grief and into God’s healing.
Psalm 77 tells us when the Red Sea saw God… the waters trembled, the winds blew, and earth quaked. And then the RED SEA divided to create a path through the sea, a dry path.
It was a path no one knew was there (Psalm 77: 19).
What really changes when a moment changes your life?
You do!
I do!
What are the moments that changed your life in the past? How did they change you?
Where is the path through this craziness of 2020? We see it only after we SEE GOD.
Let’s do this together!
Join me for the next 10 Day Challenge called…
Capture the STILL
Take just 10 Minutes a day
for 10 Days
to STOP, SEE GOD and LISTEN to your life.
May 4-13, 2020
The purpose of this challenge to help us intentionally BE STILL and notice the STILL (single snapshot) of the day.
To Register or Find out more, Click HERE! There is a charge for this event which allows me to offer this to more women who are interested.
NOTE: Know someone who would benefit from this, but are unable to pay for it? I would like to help you help them by offering a "2for1" deal. Both of you sign up and you can get your friend in free. I want to help where I can, even as I need to work for a living too. Just email me so I can send you a link to sign your friend up free.
I look forward to seeing you on the INSIDE of this challenge. Let’s SEE GOD, and watch for the path through this challenging time.
Kathy
P.S. I hope you take some time to read through the book of Exodus to see the incredible ways God showed up for the children of Israel.
P.S.S. Interested in reading more about my RED SEA story, Click here to get CHAPTER 15 from Lovely Traces of Hope.