I've been pondering the irony
of my study of remarkable life,
Abundant life
Man fully alive
As I feel that i am coming alive again
After walking through grief
My dad, the preacher farmer
As I now walk with my parents
Through struggle to live
after Dad's heart attack
And breathe
And eat & drink
And walk
It's like being born again
In a new way
All over again
Is this the end
Or a beginning
A new baby - my grand niece Collins Lynae
Was born just weeks ago
There was an end to the time she spent
Nurtured and cared for in the womb
Of her mommy Chelsi
But the end
Birthed a beginning
Dad is at an end
Of life, yes at age 83 nearing an end
And yet not the end of living
So a beginning
Of a new way of living
Once again
Learning to breathe
And drink
And eat
And walk
As if for the first time
And what is ahead?
Wrestling
Striving
Depending
Trusting
Loving
enjoying
Hoping
Praying
Letting go
Releasing
Grieving
Fighting
Laughing
Crying ...
But isn't that what life has been
Through 83 years
All of those things and more
Being born
Growing up the youngest of 12
Decisions about life
Education
Marriage
Jobs
Parenting
Ministry
Wrestling
Striving
Depending
Trusting ...
Sure the dreams have changed
What was once
Dreams for a future
Or a child
Or a church
Are now lived out
Perhaps those dreams
Became reality
all we imagined and more
Or perhaps they were tweaked
We reached for the moon
And landed in the stars
Or perhaps they were dashed
Dreams no more
Maybe now at 83 it feels there are
No more dreams
No more strength
No more desire
Dreams are dying
Yet he lives
We live
Wrestling
Striving
Depending
Trusting
Loving
enjoying
Hoping
Praying
Letting go
Releasing
Grieving
Fighting
Laughing
Crying ...
Somewhere in the middle of all that Is abundance
- Husband & wife loving one other In intimate, sacrificial ways
- Children caring for parents and each other
- Grandchildren showing up
- Neighbors caring for neighbors
- Their sisters and brother, nieces and nephews offering prayers
- Skilled professionals serving in such personal ways
My Dad and Mom, the day my dad came home from the hospital
Love.
Joy.
Life.
Abundance!
Lord, help me embrace
The "being born" times
As well as the dying
As a newborn
As a child
As a daughter
My time with my dad has reminded me
That life
At all stages
Is both
the good and the bad,
the happy the sad,
the easy and the hard,
the pretty and the ugly
And in all that is Abundance!