I am broken.

I don’t know if I ever truly felt broken before Leisha died.

I think perhaps in my pumping sunshine (Ren’s word for my positive outlook) way of looking at the world, I most often felt like whatever was wrong with the world God would find a way of making it right.

But since losing my child, I am very aware that God has not taken away the pain I have felt, nor would I want him too. It is part of the love relationship I had with my daughter. I miss her in my life because of my deep love for her.

Even if I will forever feel broken.

I'm flawed.

I take it back to Adam and Eve.

Here they were - the perfect couple in the perfect garden.

They had no baggage. They had no past life. They had no history that hurt them.

They were completely free of all of that.

And they still were flawed